giddyup gazelle!

Well, it's that time of year again...time for the Well Woman's Exam.  Having been notified of my annual appointment, I dutifully showed up on the scheduled day, at the appointed time.  I am fortunate to have a very compassionate physician.  She always takes enough time to address anything and everything.  Her bedside manner is extraordinary, as well.

For example, even though I had gained a whopping eight pounds since my last visit, she was kind and understanding.  She never mentioned the "F" word (F-A-T) but she did mention that for my current weight, I was actually five inches too short!  Now that was medical diplomacy at its best.

We talked about the "D" word (D-I-E-T...and if you've ever tried to stay on one, you know there's a reason the main part of the word is DIE).  I promised to try harder, and then she went a step too far!  Doc took it to a whole new level: more exercise.  When it comes to exercise, I'm in the proverbial 'Catch-22.'  The severe arthritis in my hips, knees, and ankles protests.  Yes, yes, I know...a body in motion tends to stay in motion...thank you for the reminder.  But, it's much easier said than done.  Trust me.

So, we settled on a new plan of action.  For only fifteen minutes a day, I will do some very low impact exercise.  Alright, now you're talking!  I can do this.  Meanwhile, back at home...

Up the stairs I go to have a serious discussion with the Gazelle Crosstrainer that sits in the corner of the room sneering, as it stares defiantly at me.  But, somehow we reach a truce and I gingerly climb on.  Setting my feet firmly in place, I start out slowly.  Hey!  I CAN do this.  I'm the little engine that could!  Toot! Toot!  Get off the track because here I come.  I chant happily as I speed up, "I think I can, I think I can!  Toot! Toot!  I think I can, I think I can!"  This is great, and look at how time flies.

I think I'll check the stats now.  I click the meter on...let's see...'Calories Burned.'  WHAT?!  Three, 3, t-h-r-e-e?  Are you kidding me?  That can't be right.  After all this time?!  OK, OK...let's check 'Time.'
WHAT?!  Two minutes...seriously?  What's wrong with this thing.  It must need new batteries.  What about 'Distance'?  What's the distance I've covered?  Really?! Really?!  Point zero five?  I will not be defeated!

Must go faster.  Toot! Toot!  I think I can, I think I can!  Three minutes, five minutes.  Toot! Toot!  I think I can!  Ten minutes, twelve minutes.  I think I can, I think I can!  Toot! Toot!  Almost there...fourteen, fourteen-and-a-half...Toot! Toot!  I think I can, I think I can!  Fifteen minutes!  VICTORY!!

As I slide off the skis, collapsing on the floor...exhausted, I realize how much better I really feel...it must be all that gas I passed...toot! toot!