Mommie Dearest,
In less than a week, thirteen years will have passed since you flew away home so suddenly. That's 156 months, imagine that...thirteen springs, thirteen summers, thirteen autumns, thirteen winters. Or, to put it another way, it's been 676 weeks. I've counted the days, too...4,745...since I last spoke to you. I think I'll be forever blue.
But, how could I blame you...there's no place like home, and you really are finally home, safe in the Father's house. But, left behind, I've had 113,880 hours to miss you. I think I'll be forever blue.
Everyone said, "it gets better with time..." but who are they fooling when I've spent 6,832,800 minutes without you. I think I'll be forever blue.
Sometimes, I just burst into tears for no apparent reason. I miss the sound of your voice, always so cheery. I miss hearing you say, "Hi, Honey! What's new?" I guess I'll be forever blue.
What's it like up there? Can you see me? Can you hear me? I just wish you could give me a clue. I guess I'll be forever blue.
But, wait...I forgot to tell you...in the mornings, upstairs in my study, I pretend you are there, too. I have your favorite Bible, and when I touch it, hold it, read it, I feel closer to you. Maybe I won't be forever blue.
I love to read the verses you've marked and the notes that came straight from your heart. I get a sense of your nearness, whenever I realize that I've marked the same ones, too. Maybe I won't be forever blue.
It's hard to explain, but I'm so very happy, too. I just miss my mama, and that's you! But, maybe I won't be forever blue...maybe just until I get home, too. Leave the light on for me.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Thursday, February 21, 2013
danger: ice ahead
For the last couple of days, our region has been gripped in a true 'wintry mix.' With temperatures chasing each other back and forth over the freezing line, it has been wise to bundle up when you venture outside. Rain, snow, sleet, freezing rain and wind have paraded about, but after all, it is winter on the southern plains.
Early this morning I was awakened by the click, click, clicking from the icy pellets that the wind was driving onto every window pane. Not an irritating sound, to be sure, just startling at first. As I lay in my warm and cozy bed, I began to let my mind free fall...I was reminded of all the dear people who must be outdoors in this kind of weather, some by their chosen profession and others due to circumstances. Nevertheless, as far as I am concerned, it would be better to be somewhere safe and warm. I thought about the effect of the ice on the roads for the morning commute. The icy layer covering the roads is dangerous. And that is the thought that brought me here!
Isn't it strange that ice can both relieve and torment? An icepack applied to the head during a raging headache brings comfort. (just trust me on that) Ice often brings relief for muscle pain, and what is a summer day without a refreshing iced beverage, even if it's only water. On the other hand, too much ice causes damage, often that damage is non-reversible. For example, a fresh roast can be preserved for future use by wrapping it appropriately and putting it in the freezer, but if it isn't wrapped carefully or if it remains in the freezer for too long it becomes freezer-burned and useless.
Additionally, farmers have learned to save a crop by using ice. When a frost alert is issued, it is not uncommon, particularly in citrus groves, to spray the trees with water that rapidly freezes as the temperature drops. Ironically, the ice covering the fruit actually protects it whereas the frost would do permanent damage to the entire crop. The ice actually saves the fruit. But, what if the ice didn't melt? What would happen if it remained? Then the crop would be lost. There's a delicate balance involved.
An that got me to thinking...
Sometimes, when we suffer a great emotional injury, we apply 'ice' to protect the bruised heart. At first, it has a calming effect on the nerves and we are relieved of the pain. But, I wonder what happens when we don't let the broken heart mend...when we just keeping 'icing' it to dull the pain and put it in the back of our mind somewhere. Perhaps that soothing layer of ice that was initially applied to dull the senses will simply keep our heart in a frozen state. Wouldn't it be better to comfort ourselves, at first, but only as a quick-fix? Just long enough to run to the Father and cry, "I'm hurt. Help me please. Help me forgive and mend the relationship. I don't want to feel this way anymore." That's my goal now. I don't want to stand before my Savior and hear Him ask, "Why did you let this matter go for so long? Where was forgiveness in all this? Had you forgotten the measure with which you have been forgiven?"
We are often tempted to ask God, "Why?" I think I am beginning to understand how He feels about that. I know one thing now: I don't ever want Him to ask me 'why' I did this or that or, worse yet, why I didn't.
Keep your heart free from pain by applying the healing balm of forgiveness to the person who has caused the injury. Let it go...the ice you apply to the hurt will only soothe the pain momentarily. Just something to think about...
Early this morning I was awakened by the click, click, clicking from the icy pellets that the wind was driving onto every window pane. Not an irritating sound, to be sure, just startling at first. As I lay in my warm and cozy bed, I began to let my mind free fall...I was reminded of all the dear people who must be outdoors in this kind of weather, some by their chosen profession and others due to circumstances. Nevertheless, as far as I am concerned, it would be better to be somewhere safe and warm. I thought about the effect of the ice on the roads for the morning commute. The icy layer covering the roads is dangerous. And that is the thought that brought me here!
Isn't it strange that ice can both relieve and torment? An icepack applied to the head during a raging headache brings comfort. (just trust me on that) Ice often brings relief for muscle pain, and what is a summer day without a refreshing iced beverage, even if it's only water. On the other hand, too much ice causes damage, often that damage is non-reversible. For example, a fresh roast can be preserved for future use by wrapping it appropriately and putting it in the freezer, but if it isn't wrapped carefully or if it remains in the freezer for too long it becomes freezer-burned and useless.
Additionally, farmers have learned to save a crop by using ice. When a frost alert is issued, it is not uncommon, particularly in citrus groves, to spray the trees with water that rapidly freezes as the temperature drops. Ironically, the ice covering the fruit actually protects it whereas the frost would do permanent damage to the entire crop. The ice actually saves the fruit. But, what if the ice didn't melt? What would happen if it remained? Then the crop would be lost. There's a delicate balance involved.
An that got me to thinking...
Sometimes, when we suffer a great emotional injury, we apply 'ice' to protect the bruised heart. At first, it has a calming effect on the nerves and we are relieved of the pain. But, I wonder what happens when we don't let the broken heart mend...when we just keeping 'icing' it to dull the pain and put it in the back of our mind somewhere. Perhaps that soothing layer of ice that was initially applied to dull the senses will simply keep our heart in a frozen state. Wouldn't it be better to comfort ourselves, at first, but only as a quick-fix? Just long enough to run to the Father and cry, "I'm hurt. Help me please. Help me forgive and mend the relationship. I don't want to feel this way anymore." That's my goal now. I don't want to stand before my Savior and hear Him ask, "Why did you let this matter go for so long? Where was forgiveness in all this? Had you forgotten the measure with which you have been forgiven?"
We are often tempted to ask God, "Why?" I think I am beginning to understand how He feels about that. I know one thing now: I don't ever want Him to ask me 'why' I did this or that or, worse yet, why I didn't.
Keep your heart free from pain by applying the healing balm of forgiveness to the person who has caused the injury. Let it go...the ice you apply to the hurt will only soothe the pain momentarily. Just something to think about...
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