Three Little Words

Roger Miller's version of a song (written by Neil Diamond, I believe) got stuck in my head recently. I think the title is "Husbands and Wives." But, I am certain that the lyrics include this line...

"it's my belief...pride is the chief cause in the decline in the number of husbands and wives."

I kept thinking about that phrase and suddenly I realized what was bothering me. It was the combination of the three words, 'husbands and wives.' It's as though they were meant to be together...you can't think of one without the other. When a man is being the best husband he can be, it usually follows that his wife is edified and love is rekindled anew toward him. The opposite is obviously true, as well. So what happens to us...why does the flame turn cold..how do we become disinterested?

Perhaps, the answer is in the lyrics, 'pride.'  Pride can be a very good thing, but it can also tear down and destroy in minutes what took years to build. I have discovered that there is a remedy to false pride. It can be measured in three little words most of the time. Now, now...don't run ahead. You were probably thinking that the beneficial phrase might be, "I love you." That's a start...a very good start, but it's only therapeutic when spoken in absolute truth! Let's back the train up a bit and examine other combinations that may need to be spoken first.

What about, "I am sorry."  Then there's always, "Maybe you're right."  "I forgive you," comes to mind. "I appreciate you," lifts the sagging spirit." "Please, don't go." " I was wrong." "I remember when..." "You are amazing."

As you can see, it doesn't take much of an effort to conjure up a 3-word phrase. Maybe we talk too much. Maybe fewer words would actually say more, if they were chosen more carefully. It's just a thought, but I think it's worth thinking about. When we truly appreciate those we love and care about, we should be their champion. Always encouraging and uplifting. It's funny how those things keep coming back around to us. It's the universal law of seedtime and harvest in action. We sow seeds of love and appreciation and eventually we will reap a good harvest.

However, if we continue to plow our relationship fields with pride, bitterness and strife...nothing good can happen. This goes for other less intimate relationships as well. Consider the people around us..."You go first." Or the ones we work with..."I appreciate you."

Yes, I believe that pride might be the chief cause in the decline of a whole lot of good things. Let's resolve to be proactive in turning things around. If you're waiting for someone else to start by complimenting you, maybe that's the problem...maybe, there's too much pride for our own good. Stop saying, "I love you," unless you are willing to attach the actions that prove it! When we choose to work on the most intimate relationship first, all other relationships can only improve, as well.

Paul wrote, "Husbands, love your wives ....and wives, see to it that you reverence (adore) your husbands." [translation is my own] A little bit of pride can go a long way toward destroying great things if it is false pride (thinking too much of ourselves and not enough about others first.)

"You're the best!" "You're so wonderful!" "Thank you, Baby!" "Will you please..." "You thrill me!"

Back to the phrase..."husbands and wives." When you cease to care for one another and stop focusing on the needs of your partner, then you stop being husband and wife...you become something less...some poor relationships fall to the status of roommates...tragic, but true. Don't let pride have a foothold in harmony. The only time pride is allowed in the marriage relationship is when it is directed toward our mate and not ourselves! Look with the eye of memory and recall when you first fell in love with this amazing person, remember when you always wanted to look your best for them, recall fondly the sweet little things you said to each other...in short, take care of the relationship.

Three little words can halt a decline. "I LOVE YOU!" "I really do!" "You are awesome!"